According to “Mean Girls,” Halloween is the one day a year when a person can dress up like a total nerd and no one else can say anything about it. And, even better, everyone has to guess each others’ costumes or risk being told as if they didn’t even watch “Dr. Strangelove” that one time, in college, at a screening with members of the Film Society who held a post-viewing discussion at the independent bookstore nearby. Or YouTube videos of alternative ’80s pop stars. Or every episode of “The O.C.,” ironically.
Here are some ideas for people who consider Halloween an exercise in personal vanity second only to winning at Tuesday night trivia who are the worst.
1. Stuart Sutcliffe, The Beatles’ bassist for a little over one year: Shirt, tie, jacket, Ray-Bans, paintbrush.
2. French dairy farmer Perrier LaPadite (Denis Ménochet), who harbored the Dreyfus family until their untimely demise at the hands of Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) in “Inglorious Basterds”: Red henley T-shirt dirtied from hard labor, suspenders, beard.
3. Amélie’s (Audrey Tautou’s) neighbor Dufayel (Serge Merlin) in “Amélie”: Sweater-coat, black fur hat, fragility, a lifetime of memories.
4. PJ Harvey, English singer-songwriter, at the 1995 VMAs: Light blue dress, matching eyeshadow. Like Betty Boop meets Baby Spice.
5. Michael Jackson in Pepsi’s four-part 1988 “Chase” ads: Curly wig, studded black jacket, the song “Bad.”
6. Guy keeping the beat as Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater danced in “Titanic”: Dark blue turtleneck, red vest, wellies, third-class swagger.
7. Holly Golightly’s (Audrey Hepburn’s) cat in “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”: Ginger cat ears, orange bodysuit, DGAF attitude.
8. Gareth Keenan (Mackenzie Crook), the U.K. version of Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) on the U.K. version of “The Office”: Olive-green shirt, tie, blazer, pants. Expression of bewilderment.
9. Butch Coolidge’s (Bruce Willis’s) one-time taxi driver Esmeralda in “Pulp Fiction”: Curly short hair, cigarette, weird fascination with death.
10. The Mouth of Sauron in Lord Of The Rings: Rotted teeth. Rage.
11. Omar (Michael K. Williams) testifying against Bird (Fredro Starr) in Season 2 of “The Wire”: Black jacket, black jersey, floral tie, self-made code of ethics.
12. The Doomsday Device from “Dr. Strangelove”: Colbalt-colored bodysuit that cannot be removed.
13. Guy running down road in Radiohead’s music video for “Karma Police”: White shirt, brown pants, matches. Air of tragedy.
14. Kate Bush, English avant-garde pop artist: Crimped hair, long-sleeve leotard in powder blue. Bright-eyed stare.
15. Aaron Sorkin: Glasses, fast talking.
16. The blanket lying in disarray on the couch in the room when Marissa shoots Trey on “The O.C.”: Ugly brown-and-green-striped poncho.
17. George Clooney’s home in “The Descendants”: Hawaiian print pants, Hawaiian print shirt, straw hat, a pineapple.
18. Björk’s hair: Red afro wigs, glued to a sweatshirt.
19. Lawrence of Arabia’s camel: Camel costume.
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