What would a Meryl Streep biopic even be about? Moreover, what would it look like if made in the vein of Lifetime’s Whitney Houston and Brittany Murphy movies?

Christina Applegate, who looks like “she’s not even trying,” provides a sample of that in a new Funny or Die video that spoofs the network’s try-hard celebrity docudramas. Applegate fails at re-creating “Doubt,” “The French Lieutenant’s Woman,” “Mamma Mia!” and other Streep classics, and — gasp! — the movie accuses Streep of needing to chop onions in order to cry onscreen. Yep, this one’s going to be unauthorized.

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