On this week’s Film Standard from The Onion, movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal (played by actor Ron E. Rains) reviews “Gone Girl.”

“Look, when I walk into a movie theater, I’m not interested in a laundry list of shit to worry about,” Rosenthal says. “I have a lot of balls in the air as it is. I can’t keep track of all of this!”

So if you don’t want to spend two hours of your precious time worrying about other people’s fictional problems, don’t see “Gone Girl.”

[h/t The Onion]