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Khloe and Scott Take The Dog House, Not The Hamptons

This week’s episode of “Kourtney and Khloe Take The Hamptons” was particularly frustrating for all parties. It was frustrating for Kourtney, who is fed up with Scott. It was frustrating for Khloe, who is torn between supporting Kourtney and having fun with Scott. It was especially frustrating for Scott, who can’t seem to do anything right by Kourtney. (It’s also frustrating for him because he slept on a bathroom floor and that is no way for a Lord to slumber.) However, this week’s episode was the most frustrating for us the viewers. We are torn between sympathizing with pregnant Kourtney, sad Scott, and actually caring about their relationship.

The episode opened with Kourtney banning Khloe from their Hamptons home after Khloe had spent the past 20 hours traveling from South Africa. Oh and she smelled like a “fucking bear that was outside in dog shit for years.” Her words. Gross. As if her day can’t get any worse, she then has to shack up on a pull-out couch in Scott’s hotel room. (Mind you, she still hasn’t showered.) I spent the episode silently wondering when Khloe did get to shower, as she was wearing that black sweatshirt for the first third of the episode. But I digress. This isn’t “Kourtney and Khloe Take A Shower.”

Khloe and Scott come home to an angry Kourtney who demands Scott “get it together.” Scott, clearly fed up with Kourtney, raises his voice. Khloe notes that she hasn’t ever heard Scott yell like that, but did we all forget about that time they “took” Miami and Scott broke a mirror?

Eventually, Kourtney allows Khloe and Scott to come back to their own home. I know, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor too. Who saw that one coming? The crew smooths things over long enough to stage an obligatory Tracy Anderson workout class plug.

Khloe and Scott spend the majority of the episode trying to participate in fun, sober activities but still, this does not please Kourtney. Khloe even tries to play couples counselor with Kourtney and Scott but Kourtney thwarts those efforts too by kicking Scott out of bed. The Lord then sleeps on the bathroom floor and we all simultaneously wondered how there isn’t a spare bedroom in that sprawling house of theirs. We soon find out there is a spare room however, it belongs to Princess Kim K (oh, Kim, how I miss you right now).

Basically, the Kourtney/Scott/break-up/make-up storyline is old AF. I get that as they have more children the stakes of their breakup get higher but it’s just sad at this point. Scott is obviously going through a lot and doing what he needs to do to get through it. And he is very self-aware of that. Surprising self-aware. He says that Kourtney is the one person left in this world that is family to him but to be very honest, she is being downright cruel. Kourtney must also know this because she tweeted this Sunday night as the episode aired.

People are loving me tonight! #KKTH

— Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) November 10, 2014

Scott didn’t want to summer in the Hamptons yet Kourtney insisted they go. Scott can’t sleep so she doesn’t let him sleep in their master bedroom. Scott sleeps in Kim’s room because he has nowhere to go and she locks him out of there. I just don’t get it. And I don’t want to watch it. At least next week we get to see Kim and Kris. I never thought I’d actually miss Kris Jenner.

Oh and one more thing: When Kourtney left Khloe and Scott at the tennis court and drove off without them and Khloe rode along the side of the car, that was SO unsafe. Not to be a Debbie Downer but that made me highly uncomfortable. It should have come with a “Do not try this at home” disclaimer.

Other than that, the episode was pretty much business as usual. Scott and Khloe got uncomfortably close, Mason and Penelope were painfully adorable, and French Montana didn’t take off his sunglasses.