“Professional swear word-sayer” John Oliver may not return to lambaste the news until next month, but he took to YouTube on Sunday to admit something really important about “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

The “Last Week Tonight” host doesn’t believe Jamie Dornan fully embodies “Fifty Shades” author E.L. James’ character — hence his anti-Dornan campaign, #NotMyChristian, last year — but Oliver is mostly upset that he wasn’t asked to play the part.

“Sure, you passed me over for the ‘epitome of male beauty,’ but whenever you need a caucasian foreigner or a cheerful weakling, suddenly my phone’s blowing up,” Oliver said. The host then proceeded to audition for Christian Grey, and yes, handcuffs are involved.

“Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” returns Feb. 8 at 11:00 p.m. ET on HBO.