“I’ll be there for you … if you shoot me a text first.”

No matter how much you wish “Friends” would come back to TV (the Netflix binges will have to suffice), you have to admit that taking Rachel, Ross, Monica, Joey, Phoebe and Chandler out of the ’90s would be a big mistake.

A big, moody, dubstep-fueled, smartphone-dominated mistake.

This latest sketch from Nerdist, created by Andrew Bowser and Ben Mekler, shows what “Friends” would look like if it were rebooted, including a new theme song that mixes The Rembrandts with beats by Freddy Scott (“This Is A Trent Reznor Song”) and one minute of excruciatingly “millennial” down time in a hipster coffee bar.