Just when you thought meals couldn’t get more awkward than Thanksgiving …

For this week’s “Tonight Show Hashtag,” Jimmy Fallon asked for your weirdest waiter encounters. Fallon got all kinds of nightmare tweets, and it’s pretty safe to say they could make you want to stay home for a while (and perhaps upgrade your security system).

Fallon’s faves included:

@jimmyfallon It was the waitress’s 1st day. She brought my food and said, “there was a hair in your salad so I picked it out” #MyWeirdWaiter

— James (@fashoyoyo) April 23, 2015

My waiter forgot to bring straws and said to himself “not again Barry your better than this!” #myweirdwaiter

— frankie fallon (@frankie_nails) April 22, 2015

I was at a restaurant once and a staring waiter there told me that he liked how gracefully my jaw would move when I ate. #MyWeirdWaiter

— Wayne Coutinho (@StoneColdPunk1) April 23, 2015

Uh … yeah. Check please!

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