The “Cooking with Mariah Carey” show imagined by Funny or Die provides a few important tips for food preparation: Always take time to flip your hair away from the food, wear a big ol’ diamond ring in the kitchen to show you have a big ol’ diamond ring and be sure to feed your famous friends.

Props to Carey for being game and to director Brett Ratner for sampling a mouthful of the singer’s what-the-hell-is-that “Frito pie.”

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