The Internet is nauseatingly obsessed with Disney princesses, and even more obsessed with imagining them in some altered state. (As Velociraptors, seriously?) While websites love to fixate on things like how characters are animated so that their eyes are bigger than their wrists, or how they would look if they had more realistic waistlines, Amy Schumer’s latest sketch tackles the bigger question of why anyone would want to be a princess at all.

Sure, Disney movies and their characters are sanitized versions of classic fairy tales by the Grimm Brothers and Hans Christian Anderson, but when all the adventure is said and done, being a princess is actually all about being married off as an underage teenager, and hoping you can produce a male heir.

Besides, everyone knows happily ever after isn’t a real thing.

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