Each week HuffPost Women rounds up the most hilarious 140-character jokes from women on Twitter we could find to brighten your day. We’ve got to hand it you ladies, these keep us laughing every single week. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Life hack: put on “Best I Ever Had” at the gym and pretend Drake is talking about you
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) March 16, 2015
St. Patrick somehow managed to ban all snakes from Ireland but his legacy couldn’t manage to ban drunken lunatics from the streets
— Rachel Syme (@rachsyme) March 17, 2015
Every day is St. Patrick’s Day when you’re Russian.
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) March 17, 2015
Huh?
~ an autobiography
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) March 17, 2015
My toddler threw a fit so I rolled my eyes, collapsed on the couch, sighed heavily then asked, “why are you so dramatic about everything?”
— Misstlovestrinkets (@mstluvstrinkets) March 16, 2015
Ordered an “I’d Rather Be DRIVING” license plate frame for those times I’m feeling passive-aggressive about traffic.
— Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) March 17, 2015
at a starbucks this am and heartened by how many people are talking about race in america.
just kidding, everyone’s wearing earbuds.
— alyssa bereznak (@alyssabereznak) March 19, 2015
Crescent rolls are a very bad excuse for croissants
— Erin Kim (@erinykim) March 19, 2015
I’d like to FaceTime with some pizza.
— Brunette Bombshell (@Jazzzzzmina) March 18, 2015
Reach for your computer charger.
Even if you miss, you’ll land among the pita chips you dropped last night & hair ties you thought you lost.
— Colette McIntyre (@calledcolette) March 19, 2015
Doing the Irish exit at a St Paddys party feels respectful
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) March 18, 2015
Just saw the hardest dude tap a cherry chapstick to his upper lip 500 times as he walked past
— Chelsea Peretti (@ChelseaVPeretti) March 16, 2015
I’m glad my boss can finally laugh at herself. Its been kinda uncomfortable for the rest of us, who have been laughing at her the whole time
— Angie (@angeliav68) March 13, 2015
still haven’t fully unpacked from a trip i took in 2009
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) March 19, 2015
Just found out there’s a bug called the tarantula hawk wasp and I’m like holy shit maybe just pick one terrifying predator to name it after.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 20, 2015
There should be a word for the specific type of anxiety I feel when I see someone wearing Uggs in the rain.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) March 15, 2015
[inventing Peeps]
What if we made a candy that’s like a blob half chicken half couch
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 19, 2015
I would describe my fashion style as “Disney ready” and that’s before I put the fanny pack on
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) March 20, 2015
*backflips out of bushes*
can I pet your dog
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 18, 2015
I just learned “Gilmore Girls” is called “My Mom Is My Friend” is Italy
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) March 20, 2015
whenever my parents ask me a question i’m like maybe if you checked the FAQ page on my blog first this wouldn’t be an issue
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) March 20, 2015
