Each week HuffPost Women rounds up the most hilarious 140-character jokes from women on Twitter we could find to brighten your day. We’ve got to hand it you ladies, these keep us laughing every single week. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
I hate when chocolate kisses melt in my gym bag and ruin my unused work out clothes.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) March 24, 2015
When God closes a window, he opens a tab
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) March 27, 2015
Gonna start calling all these sexist trolls him- orrhoids
— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) March 27, 2015
“jade” is such a ‘90s word for “teal”
— Anne Helen Petersen (@annehelen) March 23, 2015
I’m just not cut out to be a person.
— June O’Hara (@juneohara65) March 24, 2015
Hub: What’s this?
Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I’m a little closer to freedom.
Hub: *puts $100 in*
Me:…
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) March 22, 2015
Kinda wanna eat a jar of peanut butter, kinda wanna nap, kinda wanna punch a stranger. Being a woman is hard.
— heather lou* (@heatherlou_) March 22, 2015
If you don’t like dogs.. I don’t like you.
— CoCo Nutz (@in_cognico) March 24, 2015
I think “uggggh carry meeee” way too much for an adult.
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) March 24, 2015
i think we all know whose feelings have been hurt the most by one direction and that’s north west
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) March 25, 2015
I stuck my hand into a coin-filled fountain and used $3.99 of other people’s wishes to buy a burrito.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 25, 2015
if you wanna get your period just wear your nicest, fanciest underwear and let karma do the rest
— Sandy Honig (@sandyhonig) March 24, 2015
feeling really betrayed by my face’s decision to start exhibiting glare wrinkles before laugh lines
— Alexandria Symonds (@a_symonds) March 23, 2015
A teen movie where in order to look good at the dance the girl is encouraged to wear glasses and pull her hair back.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) March 27, 2015
So Zayn was Ginger Spice all along?
— Hillary Busis (@hillibusterr) March 25, 2015
a fun thing to do when you leave a room is to loudly announce where you’re going and tell a random stranger to hold your calls
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) March 23, 2015
There comes a time in a lady’s life when she has more hair knotted around her elastic than her male suitors have covering their heads
— Colette McIntyre (@calledcolette) March 26, 2015
I love to travel!
from my bed to my couch to my office chair to the subway to my bed to my couch to my office chair to the bathroom to
— Lynn Bixenspan (@lynnbixenspan) March 27, 2015
i live every day in fear my gchat records will somehow be used against me in a court of law
— Kasia Galazka (@supergalaxy) March 27, 2015
good lesbian porn title = “L Word Scissorhands”
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 26, 2015
Receiving people’s resumes really makes you realize how many people have last names that sound like body parts
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) March 27, 2015
