I finally got a chance to get my hands on

Travel back with me to March 2008. Brawl was just making its way to retail shelves, and the world looked completely different from what we currently know. I was still writing video game trivia for a now-defunct website, waiting desperately for GameSpot to rescue me from the daily drudgery of searching for interesting Mike Haggar facts. Way back then, America had only elected white men to be its presidents, and my adorable dog wasn’t even born yet. 2008 was a world that I no longer recognize.

The Smash Bros formula has lain dormant for an entire console generation. Of course Nintendo is reusing it! As the years have drifted by, those who crave Smash have grown ever more hungry, anxious for another dose of that sweet, sweet Donkey Kong fury. And just imagine how many potential fans have woken up to the brilliance of gaming during that time period. By waiting so long between releases, Nintendo has done an excellent job of building hype without actually doing a darn thing. Pretty impressive feat, no? And considering this is only the fourth (fifth, if you include the 3DS game) entry in 15 years, they haven’t exactly beaten this formula into the ground.

There’s nothing else like it

Smash Bros. is so blindingly simple that anyone should be able to make a knockoff, right? Just drop a couple of recognizable characters in an arena, strip down the controls so anyone can play it, and watch the dollar bills roll in. If only it were that easy. So many companies have tried to bask in Smash’s reflected glory, only to end up with another gravestone in an overcrowded cemetery. PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale is the most noteworthy, but it’s not alone. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up‘s was a soulless imitation, Onimusha Blade Warriors didn’t have the decency to include Jean Reno, and DreamMix TV: World Fighters never even made it out of Japan.

All right, that last one had Optimus Prime and Master Higgins, so it gets a pass, but none of them were close to Smash Bros.’ brilliance. If you want anything resembling this chaotic fighter, you have to go to the source, so Nintendo would be crazy if it messed with a sure thing. Give the people what they want, especially when no one else can.

Balance perfection

You and I play Smash casually with our friends. We enjoy the wacky stages where we’re fighting the environments as much as the other characters, and eagerly use weapons to gain an upper hand. Only suckers stay clear of the happy hammer because it’s overpowered. For the likes of us, we don’t even think about balance. Fun is what’s important, so we don’t contemplate the finer points of combat.

But balance does matter. It’s what keeps us coming back for more, even years down the line. And to those professionals who were throwing down at EVO, balance is everything. These people not only spout terms such as “wave dashing” and “spiking,” but know what they mean, and use them in the heat of battle. There are those who shun every stage except for Final Destination and think weapons are for casuals. By sticking to a tight formula, Nintendo can focus on balancing the huge assortment of characters so there are no clear advantages. After all, people are going to be playing this for the next decade; better make sure you get it right the first time.

The wrath of the scorned

If you’ve been out of the Smash loop for a few years, you may have missed the brouhaha surrounding Brawl. People hate it. Well, that may be a little strong, but it’s turned off the competitive community so much that it’s been shelved while Melee takes center stage. Don’t believe me? Just go to EVO next year, yell “Brawl is better than Melee!” and watch the fireworks. Preferably from a safe distance. Nintendo messed with its baby, and in the process, turned off its biggest fans.

The most despised change? Tripping. In an attempt to even the playing field for those who lack Smash skills, Nintendo made characters randomly trip, which apparently isn’t as much fun as not tripping. Moves were also slowed down (again, more accessible), which makes it less satisfying to deliver those smashing hits. Bad things happen when you mess with a winning formula. And there are even differences casual fans noticed, such as missing characters. How dare you take away Dr. Mario and Young Link? Once you give us Mewtwo, you can’t just remove him from the sequel! Nintendo. Have some decency.

Consumer demand

This is the most important point, which is why I buried it at the bottom. Yes, you may want Nintendo to take the series in another direction–maybe veering closer to Power Stone with three-dimensional movement or letting 10 people fight at once–but you’re the minority. We get angry at companies for being greedy corporations who want nothing more than to squeeze money out of us, but that’s sometimes not such a terrible thing. People want traditional Smash Bros., and Nintendo is giving the masses exactly that.

There’s a chance that my Smash days are now behind me. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve played so far (and wiped the floor with both Samus and Zero Suit Samus), but I doubt I’ll sink hundreds of hours into the newest game like I did with the previous three. Nintendo shouldn’t change everything just to lure lapsed people like me back into the fold, though. It would be a wild gamble to subvert its formula, and one that may not even pay off. Nintendo has confidence in what it does, and it’s going to keep churning out these games every generation until it runs out of characters. Read: never.

Now please include Wart.