It’s something we never talk about. But we know. We all know. When we exit the restroom and make eye contact with our co-worker as we pass them in the doorway, we know.

You just peed. We just peed. You heard us. We heard you. And everyone had these thoughts …

“Wow, that’s a lot of toilet paper.”

“I wonder if they squat or sit.”

“We can all hear, just let’er rip already!”

“I just heard you naked.”

“Why did they just flush the toilet four times? Ew.”

“I’ve never heard pee come out of a person that fast.”

“Are they EVER going to stop peeing?”

“Can they hear me farting? I just heard them, so … yep.”

“Hah, she may be my manager but I just totally heard a fart.”

“Are they washing their hands or peeing?”

“Wait, did they just handwash, pee, flush, handwash, flush, flush?”

“WHAT. IS. THAT. SMELL.”

“I wonder how much this pee time is costing the company.”

“I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here.”

“That person they’re talking to on the phone has no idea.”

“You better not be sending me an email on that phone right now.”

“What is that called? Pee anxiety? I have pee anxiety.”

“I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

OK, it’s all out there. Now the healing can begin.

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