The time is nigh for us to say goodbye to Sookie Stackhouse’s magical vajayjay and the eerie smile of Vampire Bill. With True Blood at its final season the title for craziest TV show it now up for grabs. But how do you fill a hole left behind by a show that has featured super speed sex, a male getting raped by multiple were-panther hillbilly women, a shape-shifter shifting in head of a vampire causing it to explode, a blotched neck snap and of course the time the neck snap worked and was for vampire sex:
Okay, there’s a good chance nothing will ever top that. But let’s take a look at what shows could potentially help fill the void once True Blood is over.
Hannibal is based on the books by Thomas Harris about an awfully polite cannibal named Hannibal. You might be more familiar with the film adaptations starring Anthony Hopkins as the creepiest person to have ever lived (i.e. Silence of the Lambs / Red Dragon / Hannibal). Starting off as a prequel, Hannibal has managed to surpass the films in quality by bringing its own take on the story coupled with beautiful imagery and imagination. It straight up is just good TV. But of course, a show about a cannibal can lead to some weird scenes that NBC somehow manages to get away with on network tv.
Like the time they showed us the human totem pole.
Penny Dreadful is Showtime’s attempt at a character fueled show starring some of our most lovable characters from literature. Frankenstein, Dorian Grey, Van Helsing and more show up in this eerie Victorian setting. In its first season, this League of Extraordinary Gentlemen-esque show has proven that it can be a bit weird.
Like the time Eva Green was possessed by the devil.
Constantine has yet to premier but there is promise of it to be weird. It’s based on the comics about a man, doomed to hell from a blotched suicide, working for good to get in Heaven’s good graces as he defends the world from the supernatural that ordinary folk don’t see. Being on NBC (home of Hannibal) helps to give hope that it’ll push limits and the 2005 Constantine movie starring Keanu Reaves already proves that it can get odd.
Like the time Constantine gave Lucifer the finger.
American Horror Story
Creepy stories with the same actors playing in a different setting each season is the shtick behind American Horror Story. We’ve seen a creepy house, an asylum and a coven already with the next season promising some really messed up stuff as the show tackles the freakshow circus. Last season was filled with some things you just don’t see anywhere else.
Like the time we were blessed with Kathy Bates talking severed head.
Game of Thrones
Maybe HBO will take this opportunity to play with the source material and give us some more vagina ghouls. One can only hope.