Dating in 2015 can be #majorstrugs.
While advice from typical newspaper channels is often outdated (Um, what’s “asking someone out to dinner”?), “Pretty Little Liars” star Shay Mitchell gets that sometimes your nights are spent analyzing the punctuation in Tinder messages.
In honor of today’s debut of “Get Roped In” — a YouTube dating show from SweeTARTS Ropes hosted by Mitchell and starring YouTube celebrities like Ryan Tellez, Meghan Rienks and Catherine Valdes — we got on the phone with the actress and social media icon to get her advice for some relatable 2015 dating scenarios. Read on for her take on Snapchat flirtations, and head over to YouTube to check out the new show.
Scenario No. 1: You have a very flirtatious Snapchat relationship with a friend of yours. For example, after getting caught in a rainstorm, he/she will take a selfie looking miserable, drenched and muddy, and send it to you with the caption “Wish you were here.” But in real life, only about a quarter of your interactions are flirtatious. How do you translate the Snapchat vibes into real romance?
I would ask to meet them in person, and actually reach out to them in a cute way — using Snapchat possibly since that’s how they’ve been using it to flirt. And be like, “Hey, wanna meet for some coffee?” or “What do you say about dinner this Friday?” You know, holding up a sign or something cute, asking them the question on Snapchat but then actually having that meeting in real life. I think that could be a fun thing. Use [social media] as an opportunity to ask them to hang out in more than just a friend way.
Scenario No. 2: Someone you casually know and see regularly at mutual friends’ parties tells you one night he thinks you’re “cute and cool.” You give him your number, which he assures you he’ll use. You text him the next day, and after sending one message back three hours later, he promptly stops responding. You see him tweet that night: “Ode to this chicken finger, the only thing I’ll ever let close to my heart.” You are definitely going to keep seeing him at your mutual friends’ social events. How should you act?
I would act normal! Like yes, did he call back? No. But that’s fine. You should move on as well. I would continue to see other people and be available and be out there. I wouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket, as they say, because that’s what dating is, seeing what works for you. So, like, great it didn’t work right now but maybe he wasn’t the right person anyway. Because if there truly was genuine interest, you’re going to write back to someone. Nobody’s ever that busy, trust me.
Scenario No. 3: You’re living a life of dread as an HR rep at an investment bank. Then, you start attending a weekly paint and wine class, and for the first time in a while really feel like you’re accessing yourself. You start to think you might be vibing with with your instructor, who hovers close to you when giving notes about your painting. But, this could just be a normal painting instructor practice, and also you drank a lot of wine. Should you say something, or keep quiet because rejection would ruin your one bastion from feeling like a cog in a machine?
I would suggest, although I love wine, drinking less wine in the next class and see if your sober self is really sensing a vibe from your painting instructor, or if it was just the wine telling you that. For the next class, try like, this class I’m just gonna have two glasses instead of four and I’m gonna see if it’s all in my head or if there’s something I’m getting from this guy.
Scenario No. 4: You’re really into someone for like a year, but it takes a while to get things off the ground. The first time you actually make out with them, they keep pushing your bangs/any hair that covers your face back and saying out loud, “I want to see your forehead.” Your instinct is to flee this situation and never speak to them again, despite feeling five minutes earlier that the relationship could really go somewhere. What should you do?
Okay, I would be like, do you have an obsession with foreheads? Is this something we should talk about? [Laughs] I would want to know if, like, maybe he just wants to see your face. You know, guys say, like, “I like seeing girls in the morning.” You know, in a lot of relationships they prefer no makeup. So maybe that’s just him thinking that hair is, in a way, blocking your entire face. So I would be more specific before I just bolted. If it got a little weird and then he told me to take off my socks so he could look at my feet, then I’d really feel weird. But, you know, if he’s just asking to see more of my face, I’d be like, “Okay, cool.” If it was more than that and he actually had some weird fetish then, you know, that’s time to leave. But I’d stay there for five more minutes to hear him out.